The First Lesson

They bade her to strip her jewels and lay them at her feet, before stepping into the Portal…

I am A_____ T_______. I have been on this world for as long as I remember, although I suspect that I had a past life at some point which is probably the reason why I am constantly seeking out something like an answer to a question, or a question with no definable answer, or the fact that I wonder a lot if there are people like myself who feel the same on an existential level. My interests are exploring different religions, reading, collecting things like books, comics and random bits of information (like facts and trivia), learning about the Human Race (even though there are times when I fail to understand them completely and lose faith in them). Apart from that, I am a student at college learning Digital Media, even though my strength lies in the weaving of many a dark and bloody story for the (accidental) entertainment of my lecturers and not letting myself get caught in a group (or herd) mentality. I owe my successes so far to my focus and my unquenchable desire to wipe out the competition, and not allowing myself to get distracted by petty things like drama. But that doesn’t mean I dislike people. People are good to have; as friends, acquaintances, rivals, perhaps even… tools.

Why Am I here? Heck, why are we all here? I am here because I have gone down so many paths, four, to be exact and found them… useless. I wanted something that would complement Logic, Emotion and my predisposition for the unorthodox and make use of my apparent ruthlessness. Why do I want to know, you ask? Curiosity. If that isn’t reason enough, then I don’t know what is. What value will this all have? It will be priceless if I persevere, for I will have many trials and lessons for myself and myself alone. I hope to gain mastery of my Self and aspire to greater heights to break away certain chains. Some of which have been around my neck for as many years as my age.

My current understanding is based on different bits of information that I have read and filed away for future reference, for example, depending on who a person asks, Sith Realism originated from Satanism, but is not based on it, like how the Jedi Realism is based mostly on Buddhism with a mix of Stoicism. I would not have the answer for the distinguishing it from Dark Jediism because I have not heard of Dark Jediism, nor come across it. My fears and hesitations would be not interpreting things in a certain way that a Sith Realist would or perhaps should and that such dedication would be… impossible to attain. Or perhaps not, judging by what I am typing.

Nothing. I doubt that my brief gleanings from many a site and forum would count as ‘study’.

Thus concludes my answers before delving into more advanced matters concerning the Dark. Never have I felt so… exposed after typing all the honest answers, like something was boring itself inside my heart. Is this… normal? Perhaps it is an exercise meant to forcibly strip away the trappings and masks that a person ofter hides under in the waking world, a collection of foundations laid bare to make way for the forging of a better being. Like the saying goes, “From the ground up…”

4 thoughts on “The First Lesson

  1. It’s a liberating feeling, opening yourself up to your own self-examination. And to think when we first talked, you had the nerve to call me Sithspawn.

  2. I know, right? I’ve always been good with seeing the need in improvement with others and the world around me, but the Self took more time than I thought, years, in fact.

  3. To step through that portal is to experience transformation… or rebirth, but not before experiencing three, seven, nine, and twenty-one strokes of the scourge. As another recently posted elsewhere, you have “bared your throat” in an allegorical sense, and thus opened yourself up to growth. I am impressed with your writing.

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