The Fourth Lesson, In Three Parts

Nothing exposes Nakedness like the learning of the Dark.

This is going to be the most exposing post of these Lessons I’ve ever posted.

  1. Emotion. Expressing emotions when I was a child was considered unseemly, and because of the way I was raised, the need for ‘maturity’ among children was favoured, instead of a natural need for children expressing themselves and being children.
  2. Directness. Another one which is frowned upon because of the fact that as a child, I was raised in a very conservative country. Introducing something different, even someone as harmless as one of my parents (who is of foreign blood), was akin to introducing an epidemic waiting to happen because of this weird stereotype that foreigners are clueless savages who lacked respect and or tact.
  3. Improvisation. Another thing that I suppressed as a child was the need to thrive and adapt on Chaos, because the same society I was raised in favoured the predictable, including things such as predictable careers as well in later life, simply because it brought the money.

Part II

  1. Opinions and of Expressing Them: It was just as bad for a teenager or an adult as it is for a child to express emotion openly because once something is so exposed, the people surrounding the questioner would go to great lengths to ‘hush’ them, even if they result to use the technique of saying, “It’s just the way things are, because that’s how (insert country here) does things.” Despite it being questionable.
  2. Creativity: I didn’t reclaim this until I was in my early teens. Again, it’s the same as being chaotic—it’s seen as a ‘pretty neat hobby’ as opposed to something that brings the bread. It took me another ten years or so to actually transform this into something that will bring the bread in future.
  3. On The Truth: As a child, I was told never to tell a lie, but, at the same time, the people around me, relatives included were uncomfortable when I told the truth. Two major ones were: why did the men and women have to sit apart? Why must the women do all the cooking and the men simply do nothing?

Part III

  1. Distance: I chose this because of the cons attaching myself to people will bring, particularly if they wish to pursue something more than friendship.
  2. Private: I keep a lot of things to myself for a reason, simply because of the lack of trust that I have for people over the years, and the fact that whatever I do or whatever people I have as friends is ‘never good enough’ for other people. I wonder why people need to know about me and what I do, because they might use whatever information they glean to guilt-trip me.
  3. Cold: I tend to minimise emotional responses because of what happens when I lose control over them. Last time, I had the power to smash through a car window that belonged to someone.

2 thoughts on “The Fourth Lesson, In Three Parts

  1. I can actually see the darknesses and how they reveal themselves in you. I’ll be posting this lesson when I can find my notebook. We definitely had different upbringings, by the looks of things.

  2. Yup. I was raised the ‘Asian’ way; no emotion, no jobs with the arts (because it was seen as impractical). So, naturally having a more freedom-loving ‘Western’ mindset, I rebelled.

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